I’ve been meaning to write up a post about Strange Brewfest 2015 but it has turned into a monstrosity. I’m probably a third of the way through and I’m already over 1,300 words. Hopefully it will be done before I attend my next beer festival…on Father’s Day. I know this is an unforgivable sin for the TL;DR crowd so for them I’ve included the short version below.
Long bike ride through Whidbey Island. Doritos beer from Bainbridge was good. Hot chocolate beer from Fremont was better (though tasted very similar to straight up Dark Star served with mini marshmallows). Fort Worden kicks ass. Cellar Door for cocktails. Pour House is probably cool but didn’t spend much time there. Wish I got more sleep.
In other news, AB InBev showed just how much they care about the microbreweries they’re acquiring with what amounted to an all-out attack against any and all craft brands and their customers.
There were hipsters.
And (beer) nerds.
And neither were being portrayed in a positive light. It smacks of the jocks bullying the intelligent if socially awkward D&D devotees in a John Hughes movie. The implication is that anyone (EDIT: make that “any man”, since women only serve beer in the AB InBev universe) who takes the time to savor and, daresay, critique the beverage in their hand is not someone to be taken seriously.
Ugh, the industry has spent forty years trying to convince the public that beer has a rightful place in the consumables pantheon up there with wine and fine cuisine but AB InBev wants to undo all that with a swift Ctrl-Z of a commercial. After all, if you start caring about the quality (and more importantly, the variety) of your beer, you might stop buying theirs. Garrett Oliver must be pissed.
After offending the sector of the market that happens to be growing at double digits annually, AB InBev goes ahead and doubles down on their beechwood “ageing” in the hopes you don’t actually have any idea what that means. (Hint: it has nothing to do with imparting beechwood flavors in the beer.)
And insist that the way they brew beer is the One True Way. Particularly due to its difficulty level.
Yes, computer-controlled brewing the same recipe day in and day out is very difficult. And with everybody still crying in their beers over the Elysian acquisition, they present this, their pièce de résistance.
AB INBEV MARKETING DRONE: “Ha! Brilliant! Let those dandy craft beer drinkers sip their pumpkin pe—what? That brewery we just bought and whose brand we promised to care for and respect does an annual festival devoted solely to pumpkin beer? Meh, let’s run with it.”
The worst part? The damn ad worked. Here I am dumping 400 words and an hour of my time ranting about it to all 12 of my readers. As usual, DDB is the voice of reason that rises from the Internet muck and offered up the most poignant of comments.
Great, now I am going to have to listen to dipshits talk about that Budweiser commercial for the next two weeks. I hate beer.
— dontdrinkbeer (@dontdrinkbeer) February 2, 2015
